Amelia Baker Cole. Copyright 2023. All Rights Reserved
As a woman, we are nurturers by nature. Society has trained us to grow up playing with baby dolls and dreaming of the perfect marriage with kids: a boy and a girl if we’re lucky. I was no different. But, as many of us have, I was looking for love in all the wrong relationships. The guys I met were far from the perfect husband. Several of my siblings were involved in the same type of relationship. They had children out of wedlock and most by different men. I was determined that I would not follow in their footsteps. Therefore, I went with my girlfriends at an early age to Planned Parenthood and got a supply of birth control pills. I was on the pill for many years before getting married. I’m sure that affected my inability to get pregnant for the first eight years of marriage. My body had to get the effects of the birth control pill out of my system. However, the doctors did not consider that back then when they wanted me to do fertility treatments. But I digress.
Danny and I met in 1985 while working at the IRS. It was a match made in Heaven. We got engaged in six months and married in six months on April 5, 1986. At the time, Danny had a two-year-old daughter, Senilya. We did not get to spend much time with her early in our relationship, but the time would come. In June, we moved to Fort Worth, Texas, my dream location, for many reasons (see HERE for the previous blog: Why Did I Stay Married, Day One). It talks about how I won over Danny’s heart, or he mine’s, and we got to Fort Worth. Plus, my sister and her husband were there. Our relationship and marriage started out like a fairytale. Again, it was a match made in Heaven. But the devil came in, and all hell broke loose. But before it fell completely apart…
In 1987, we received a phone call from Senilya’s grandmother. Senilya was three years old and had two other siblings at this time. She said Senilya’s mom had fallen on hard times and the kids stayed with her. However, she would like Senilya to stay with us for a while. After some conversation, we agreed. I was overjoyed! I would have a precious child and a daughter at that. I would not dare try to replace her mom. Absolutely not! Instead, I would always share how blessed she was to have two moms that loved her very much. I would tell her she was special because not every child had that.
We got her bedroom ready and made sure everything was perfect just for her. I researched different Day Care Centers and enrolled her in the best at that time, LaPetite Academy. Not many African American kids were there during this time and at this location, but only the best would do for our daughter. We traveled home to Memphis from Fort Worth to pick up our precious gift. I was so excited and had so much love to give her. Finally, what I dreamed of growing up was happening. I was going to be a Mom.
Having a daughter around to spend time with, to love on, to shop with, to comb her hair and dress her in barrettes and pretty little dresses, and do all those girlie things was such a blessing. I loved being a mom. I was created for this. It was beautiful.
She was my miracle: my bonus child. Until…
Danny had to go and mess this perfect situation up for me! Fort Worth became our personal Egypt. Simply put, it was our hell. We were young, in love, and neither drank when we married. However, Danny became the biggest sinner I know with all the smoking, drinking, and adultery. Please read our blog on Why Did I Stay Married, Day Two, HERE to learn about our personal Egypt.
As the nurturing mother that I was, Senilya was always with me. I dropped her off and picked her up from Day Care. I took her shopping at the fun stores and playgrounds. Dad would go to the playground with us, but I took on most of the responsibilities of raising a daughter. After all, Danny was too busy smoking, drinking, and committing adultery to hang out with us.
In 1989, we received another call from Senilya’s grandmother. This time, she was ready for Senilya to come home. She wanted Senilya to grow up with her siblings. Because of the hell we were experiencing in our marriage; I knew this was nobody but God. I was becoming increasingly angry with Danny and did not want to be the stepmom who would take out her frustrations on the child. So, again, we agreed to Senilya’s grandmother’s request and traveled back home to Memphis to return Senilya.
While in Memphis, we visited Danny’s mom. Her health was failing. She shared prophecies for both of us. The one thing that she told me was: “You will have children.” I said yes, we have Senilya. She said with the most beautiful smile, “You will give birth to children of your own.” Then, I smiled from ear to ear. The Woman of God had spoken. You can read my blog on my supernatural pregnancy HERE and my supernatural delivery HERE.
Senilya, I love you to life! I’m so thankful that God entrusted me to your care as a bonus Mom. You are a gift from above. A gift that keeps on giving, as you also have made me a g-momma! I have seen you grow into an amazing woman and mother with your own four amazing sons. Thank you for loving me!
APMM Co-Founder & Executive Director
*Please note: Love doesn't abuse. APMM does not condone any form of abuse (physically or emotionally). Please do not distort any of our teachings to justify abuse. If you are in an abusive situation, get out immediately and contact the authorities.