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Why Did I Stay Married? Day One

Amelia Baker Cole. Copyright 2022. All Rights Reserved


This blog is in response to an overwhelming desire to say that marriage does not have to end in divorce. There is a better way! God's way! We all know God ordains marriage. I love to put it this way; marriages are made in Heaven but must be maintained here on earth. Now that's where it becomes challenging! Danny and I have been blessed with 37 years of marriage, and we continue to enjoy life more abundantly! But it has not always been this way. Initially, we were more like half a man and half a woman making half a marriage. There was a time when we were married on paper only! BUT GOD! And because God has blessed us to come through the fire, we are called to share our testimony with others. We are living testimonies that it can be done!

Well, Praise God! I must give you my testimony. So, here we go. Please put your seat belts on. I will not be responsible for any crashes along the way! When Danny and I first met, it was 1985, and we worked together at the IRS on Democrat Rd. But first, before meeting Danny, let's digress. It was 1983, and I had endured much heartache and pain in bad relationships! My mom passed when I was eleven, and my father had been a very hard and abusive man who did not show much affection until after my mother passed. But, the damage had already been done. I was emotionally abused (which was in some ways more fortunate than my siblings and mother, who were physically abused as well), which led to my broken spirit as I looked for love in all the wrong places. At this point in my life, I decided to give my love to God, my family, and the church. This was the decision that changed my life for the better! I remember that day very clearly. I was devastated by my "first love" as I lay in the study room of Memphis State Univ. "Rawls Hall" women's dormitory 4th floor crying out to the Lord, save me! I remember the Peace of God entering my heart, and I knew what I had to do. I would go to church that coming Sunday and publicly give my life to the Lord. Equipped with this decision, I went home to my father's house that weekend to share with everyone I came in contact with the "good news"! All did not think it was such "good news." One of my girlfriends thought it was a joke. I told her I would join Castalia Baptist, the only church I had ever known. My family grew up in this church. The Rev. Mims baptized, married, and buried my siblings. We had fallen out of the church due to some family disagreements. Therefore, being the youngest of eight and the last one at home with my father, we did not attend church. This girlfriend told me that they were all hypocrites, so her family did not go there anymore. Those words so hurt me. Immediately, I went home and told my father what I had planned to do and what was said by my girlfriend. My father loved on me and told me the most profound words. He said it didn't matter what church I went to as long as the church was in me. That Sunday morning, my father drove me to Castalia Baptist church, dropped me off, and went back home. Yes, I said he went back home! Anyway, I went in and sat next to one of my neighbors, Desdemona. I cried the whole service. Desdemona would politely give me fresh tissue after each episode. At the end of service, they announced, "the doors of the church are open," as they sat two or three chairs out front. If you are Baptist, you can relate! I went down to the front (crying every step of the way!) and joined the church. My life was never the same again! Through the years to come, I had many other family members come back home to Castalia Baptist, including my father! Glory be to God! This concludes Day One of "Why Did I Stay Married?!"

Lady Amelia,

APMM Co-Founder & Executive Director


*Please note: Love doesn't abuse. APMM does not condone any form of abuse (physically or emotionally). Please do not distort any of our teachings to justify abuse. If you are in an abusive situation, get out immediately and contact the authorities.


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