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Why Did I Stay Married? Day Two

Amelia Baker Cole. Copyright 2023. All Rights Reserved


Okay, so here I am in 1985…single and satisfied! I loved Jesus, family, and friends. I did not need or want another man in my life. BUT GOD had a different plan!

As stated in my previous blog (please read Why Did I Stay Married – Day One), Danny and I met in 1985 while working at the IRS on Democrat Rd. I was in the lunch line when this young man spoke to me and began what I would like to call his persistent pursuit of happiness! And boy, was he persistent! He never gave up! He began his flirtation. His first deep, thoughtful statement was, "Hey, I like those pants you have on. I have a pair just like them, but they don't fit me like they do you." Then, he smiled deviously, walked off, and left me grinning from ear to ear. What a line! Well, it was one I had never heard before, and it got my attention.

For the next six months, Danny was persistent in his pursuit of me. I, on the other hand, didn't give him the time of day or my phone number. After all, I remember he forgot my name the next time he saw me, and I actually have the same name as his mother! …STRIKE ONE! However, he would ask me to go on break with him every day, and I would politely say no because I was going to break with my girlfriends. My girlfriends and I hung tight! We were close and had a lot of fun together! So hey, I did not want to ruin that by hanging out with some guy that just wanted to get in my panties and then break my heart again! Just keeping it real! No way! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and I ain't going back! Besides, I told him my goal at IRS was to save enough money to move to Texas because I had no plans to stay in Memphis! So, c'ya!!! I was Texas-bound, and nothing was going to hold me back!

Now here we are, months later, and on this particular day, I was working hard as lunchtime approached. However, there were a few things that I needed to accomplish before going to lunch. Therefore, I asked my girlfriends if they would wait for me. They said they would meet me out front. Once I finished and went out front, they were gone. They didn't even wait! How could they? I was so pissed! Subsequently, I went to a break room all the way at the opposite end of the Service Center to be alone. I didn't even want to see their faces when they returned! As I sit alone in this big empty break room, someone walks up behind me and politely places their hands over my eyes. I immediately comment and say, if this is one of my 'so call' friends, you can forget it! That's when this tall, handsome young man with such an irresistible smile (Danny Cole) comes from behind, looks me in the eyes, and says, "Hey"! And I go, Oh, it's you (is this man following me?). Danny says, are you okay? I say, Yeah, I'm fine…What are you doing all the way down here at this end of the Service Center? Danny says I came to this vending machine because it is the only one that has Skittles. I go; you came all the way down here for Skittles? He goes; Yeah, I will go a long way for what I want, even to Texas! That did it right there! I grinned again from ear to ear! We sat, laughed, and talked until the end of lunch.

Later, during the following afternoon break, Danny approached my girlfriends and me and asked if I would go outside with him. And I said, sure. We laughed, talked, and had a great time together! I enjoyed myself so much that I went back to the office late. When I arrived in the office, everyone in my unit stood up and clapped their hands, saying, it's about time you gave that brother a chance! This was the beginning of a life-long dream come true, one filled with great joy and great pain!

This concludes Day Two of "Why Did I Stay Married?!"

Lady Amelia,

APMM Co-Founder & Executive Director


*Please note: Love doesn't abuse. APMM does not condone any form of abuse (physically or emotionally). Please do not distort any of our teachings to justify abuse. If you are in an abusive situation, get out immediately and contact the authorities.


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